Bring Me to Life
by Krabby Patties
Summary: Takes place directly after Spellbound. Raven is having fun playing Stankball and she's totally forgot about RorekMalchoir until Cyborg suddenly brings it up. Trouble arises with Raven and Beast boy helps cool her down. [BBxRae] Songfic


**Bring Me to Life  
****By Krabby Patties**

**Disclaimer: I simply don't own Teen Titans. They're owned by some lucky guy named Glen Mukarami or something like that.**

**Dedication: To all the people who reviewed to my other storie Addiction.**

Takes place after Spellbound  
Raven's point of view  
The lyrics are Bring Me to Life by Evanesence

06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05

Beast Boy's words, "You think you're alone, Raven, but you're not." gave me strength to play his game, Stankball. I have to admit it was fun. I pounded Cyborg and Beast Boy. It helped me forget about Malchior or Rorek, I don't even care what his name is anymore, for a while. But after, Cyborg, stupid Cyborg, brought it back. He asked, "So Raven the dragon-thing messed up your life, didn't he?"

How can you see into my eyes like open doors 

_**Leading you down into my core  
**__**Where I've become so numb**_

I couldn't believe it. Friends, good friends, don't remind people of the bad things that happened in the past. I don't remind Beast Boy of Terra's betrayal or Robin of his parent's death or Starfire of her horrible time as a slave or Cyborg of his accident. It's mean. Nobody wants to remember and be hurt more inside. Nobody likes it. It's a horrible feeling. But I feel the horrible feeling everyday. I'm reminded everyday of my father because of my inability to express my feelings. But a broken heart is worse.

_**Without a soul  
**_M_**y spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
**__**Until you find it there and lead it back home**_

So I looked at Cyborg with open eyes. I just stared because I couldn't believe he said that. I just stared at him. Beast Boy ran to my side seeing that I was different then my slightly happy state before. He repeatedly asked, "Raven, are you okay?" and "Is everything alright?" I didn't answer, I just stared at Cyborg. Feeling uncomfortable, Cyborg left after saying a short sorry but Beast Boy stayed with me, trying to comfort me. I didn't even notice he was there. I just stared at the wall where Cyborg once stood, all the memories flying through my mind.

_**(Wake me up) Wake me up inside  
**__**(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside  
**__**(Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark**_

I felt so horrible. I felt so cold inside. I couldn't find any one happy thought. I had nothing but memories of when Rorek told me he only used me. I couldn't think and I couldn't breath. I felt almost dead. Horrible. It was one of the worst feelings I've ever had. I never wanted to feel this way again.

_**(Wake me up) Bid my blood to run  
**__**(I can't wake up) Before I come undone  
**__**(Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become**_

I didn't want to cry. But I felt the tears coming. I knew that if I cried I would probably blow the whole tower up. But I didn't blow it up. A tear fell. I heard a couple explosions. Beast Boy saw the tear. I didn't want him to but he did. He tried to make me feel better. He called my name in soothing tone. I didn't hear it then. I heard it but it wasn't going through my brain. Then the tears started flowing freely. They were silent tears, as in I made no noise. I tried to stop them by blinking but they didn't stop. My whole body shook. Beast Boy brought me into a hug but I didn't feel like hugging. I felt like destroying everything. I just wanted to be alone so I moved out of Beast Boy's embrace. I took one last look at him and ran for my room. Beast Boy called after me but I kept running.

_**Now that I know what I'm without**_  
_**You can't just leave me  
**__**Breathe into me and make me real  
**__**Bring me to life**_

Once I reached my room, I quickly opened the door and jumped on my bed, making sure to shut the door behind me. I grabbed a pillow and cried into it. I heard books fall from my bookcase. I could feel Anger and Sorrow screaming in my head, together. I tried to make them stop but it only made me cry more. The pillow I was using became wet so I stopped using it and grabbed another. Once I felt like all of the tears were out of me, I stopped crying. I sat up in my bed and stared the door. I thought Beast Boy was going to come and try to make me feel better but he didn't come. I guess he saw that I needed some alone time.

_**(Wake me up) Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside  
(Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark**_

I became angry. I swore under my breath. Then I swore louder and louder. I probably attracted attention. I yelled so loud my throat hurt like Hell. But I still yelled. I cursed Rorek. I cursed every fiber of his being. I cursed my being alive and reading that stupid book Rorek was trapped in. I cursed my father and my stupid inablities. I hated everyone at the moment. But I mostly hated Rorek. I knew that the books that had fallen from my bookcase were lighting on fire but I didn't care. I wanted them to. I hated all books now. I imagined Rorek bring one of those books. Him burning, his scaly skin melting, him begging for mercy and him screaming in anguish and pain. I enjoyed it. I cackled in mad laughter and swore at the imaginary burning Rorek.

I cooled down and glanced at a knife hanging up on my wall. It was a knife carved with markings from Azarath. It was just a knife warriors used and I kept one to remind me to be strong like the warriors. I thought of just killing myself, just get my life over with. I took it down and set it in front of me on my bed. As I stared at it I thought about reasons to stay and reasons to kill myself. A couple for staying were: I needed to help the team to fight crime and just for Beast Boy. A couple for dying were: No one loves me and I'll go to heaven, where it will be a better place. But then I thought, 'I'm going to heaven?' I decided I would for all the good things I've done for the city as a Titan. But my father might force me to go to Hell with him.

_**(Wake me up) Bid my blood to run  
**__**(I can't wake up) Before I come undone  
**__**(Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become**_

Beast Boy, I didn't know at the time, transformed into a fly and came into my room wanting to check on me, to see if I was okay. He saw the knife in front of me and got the wrong impression. I had decided I definitely wasn't going to kill myself because I do not want to be with my father. Beast Boy quickly transformed into a human and jumped at the knife, taking it off my bed. "You're not killing yourself!" he yelled. "You're not going to leave us!" I was surprised that he actually cared. I told him to calm down and that I wasn't going to kill myself. Beast Boy looked relieved and placed the knife on my dresser.

**_Bring me to life_**  
_**I've been living a lie  
**__**There's nothing inside  
**__**Bring me to life**_

Then I pretended to be angry so it didn't look like I wanted him here. I yelled at him and told him he shouldn't be in my room. Beast Boy didn't move but he said, "Raven, I know you want company. So I'm not leaving." I was amazed. I couldn't believe he read my mind like that.

Beast Boy looked around my room. He saw the scorched books. He looked at me and then picked up one of the books from the floor. It crumbled in his hands. He then sat next in front of me on my bed, which was a risk for him seeing as he knows I don't like people touch anything in my room, not even the floor.

_**Frozen inside without your touch**_  
_**Without your love, darling  
**__**Only you are the life among the dead**_

"Raven, I know how you feel." Beast Boy said calmly, looking down at his hands. I got angry. He didn't know anything. I had forgotten about Terra then. I yelled at him and told him exactly what I was thinking. I told him that he's never loved someone and then have them hate you back, and that they were only using you to get want they wanted. Beast Boy got angry, but not I as angry as he should have been, now that I think about it. He asked me calmly if I remembered Terra and how he loved her but then she went on betraying us. I started to cry. I saw the burnt-to-a-crisp books explode into ashes and I heard lights in the hallway burst and shatter on the ground. I totally felt extremely guilty and apologized. I said I wasn't thinking and was just taking my anger out on him. He hugged me and I cried into his shoulder. He said it was okay and that my feelings were all mixed up and that I really wasn't thinking straight. But I was thinking straight enough to see how nice Beast Boy was being and how serious and calm he was.

**_All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see_**  
_**Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me  
I've sleeping a thousand years it seems  
Got to open my eyes to everything**_

I stopped crying and Beast Boy let go of me. I felt disappointed because I was sure that I wanted to be hugged then. Beast Boy saw my disappointment when, again, I didn't want him to. He took my hand into his and caressed it lightly with his thumb.

Beast Boy asked me a question. He asked if I really loved Malchior. He didn't know Malchior was actually Rorek. He asked it carefully because he didn't want to me to hurt again, I assumed. I answered, "Yes but at first my heart was split in two. Then it moved all to Malchior because I felt the other person didn't and never would love me." I prayed Beast Boy wouldn't ask who the other person was. I prayed real hard and my prayer was answered because he didn't ask. Instead he told me that was how he felt with Terra. Same exact feeling. I didn't want to ask who other person was because I thought it would be mean since he didn't ask me. We ended up telling each other everything about how we felt after betrayal and stuff.

**_Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul  
Don't let me die here  
_**_**There must be something more**_

He told me that he thought Terra was so perfect. He loved her laugh and her smile. He said he thought he would marry her when they got older and they would live together in love. Beast Boy teared up a little. Beast Boy took a deep breath and told me he had absolutely no doubts at all about her. He thought she was the nicest person he ever knew and would know. Then Beast Boy told me there was one other he loved. He told me that she hated him though but he still loved her. He said she liked to keep to herself and loved to read. I didn't ask who it was because again I thought it would be mean. But I did really wonder who it was. I thought it was me. I was _convinced _it was me. I thought that it _had_ to be me because the personality of the mystery girl was like my own. But I realized I wasn't good looking enough. Beast Boy's type is some hot girl with really big boobs. Not me. More like Starfire but Starfire is Robin's type. So forced myself to believe it wasn't me. I was happy but I forced myself to be sad and doubtful. Ironic, because it's usually the other way around.

_**Bring me to life**_

Beast Boy asked me about what I was feeling with Rorek. I told him that at first I didn't trust him. I'm not one to trust others easily. He freaked me out at first. Then he showed me how I wasn't creepy. Beast Boy said he was sorry about calling me creepy and I said he was already forgiven. I went on and told him that Rorek showed me so many things I had never seen before. He was so kind. I fell in love with him even if he was a bunch of scrap paper. Beast Boy laughed at that. I then told Beast Boy that it was kind of weird how nothing exploded or caught on fire or shook or anything while I was feeling love. I was so confused so I checked in with my emotions and I found there was two new ones, Love and Lust. I thought having Lust was kind of freaky because you can't really _do_ anything with a book. Beast Boy laughed again. I said my emotions didn't tell me anything because they were so giddy and happy, even Hatred was, that I couldn't understand anything they said.

_**(Wake me up) Wake me up inside  
**__**(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside  
**__**(Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark**_

Then there was a knock at my door and I heard Robin's voice. He said, "Raven, I'm sorry, but I wanted to know if you were okay. Cyborg told me what happened" I answered, "I'm fine." Then I heard Starfire's voice. She said, "Are you absolutely sure?" I said yes. Then they walked away, probably going somewhere to make out or something. Then Robin came back and told me to go to sleep. He said that we were going to train early tomorrow no matter how we're feeling. 'He's so compassionate,' I thought. Then he asked if I knew where Beast Boy was. Beast Boy shook his head at me, indicating that he wasn't here. I told Robin I didn't know where Beast Boy was and Robin walked away again.

Beast Boy thanked me and smiled. I smiled back. It wasn't a surprise because Beast Boy had seen me smile plenty of times during our Stankball game. I then hugged Beast Boy. Beast Boy was surprised just as he was when I hugged him earlier before the Stankball game. I thanked him over and over again and he said it was nothing over and over again.

_**(Wake me up) Bid my blood to run  
**__**(I can't wake up) Before I come undone  
**__**(Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become**_

Beast Boy moved to leave, to go to his room. I stopped him and I asked him if he would stay with me, just tonight, just until I fell asleep. He looked surprised but said okay. I told him he could sit on my bed if he wanted and he did. I shut the lamp, the only one that was on, off using my powers. I glanced over at Beast Boy and say that he was leaning his back against the headboard, asleep. I said goodnight, knowing that he couldn't hear me.

I watched Beast Boy sleep and thought about him. I asked myself if I was really in love with him. I didn't want to be because I didn't want my heart broken again. I didn't want to cry all day and then watch things burn. I didn't want to be hurt. I decided I would never love again. I would just live as single all my life. But I didn't want to be alone. I guessed I could live with Beast Boy. But if he is married, I don't think I would have the strength to stay. Then I decided I would live with Robin and Starfire, if they get married I meant. But I didn't want to watch them make out all day so that was a definite no. Cyborg, I didn't think I would want to live with him. 'He's very _uncaring_,' I thought. But then I looked over to Beast Boy and thought that maybe I could love again. Just Beast Boy though because I don't think he would betray me. At least I hoped not.

Eventually found sleep myself. I dreamed of how I was loved and how good it felt. I didn't know entirely how Beast Boy felt about me but I knew he cared about me.

I felt very uncreepy.

_**Bring me to life**_  
_**I've been living a lie  
**__**There's nothing inside  
**__**Bring me to life**_

06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05 06.11.05

Closing Notes: Hi everyone. Thanks for reading this. This was my first song fic. I'm sorry if it sucked. Flame me if it did. Flames are funny to read and just make me laugh, not become intimidated. I hope Raven wasn't too OOC cuz I know she was.

Please review and tell me things. Good or bad. Give me some constructive criticism.

My motivation for writing this: Well I cannot WAIT until the new Teen Titans episode tonight (US)! Gosh it's gonna rock so much. I've read a ton of reviews on it and it's a major Robin and Starfire relationship builder! So since there is gonna be a ton of RobxStar romance in the air I decided to write a BBxRae storie to you know, keep the vibe. LOL

Well later days! Go read Addiction if you know what's good for you!

ЖЯдβБΨ ۹Ǻ†ŧỊ€ی™  
♥♥


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